he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
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Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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