Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
