Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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