I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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