you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
