Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
this hospital has no fireball
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
