If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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