Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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