"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
