okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's just like the Real World with babies
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
