I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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