I got her a Nickelback box set.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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