does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
