Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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