I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I FOUND THE LEGS
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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