Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize