she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize