Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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