We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize