I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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