if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
