Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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