super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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