I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
