So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
