Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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