i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
