Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
try to milk me bitch
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
