I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
that may or may not have been my penis.
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