if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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