that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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