I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
