Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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