Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
