the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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