you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
