Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
