dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
