the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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