How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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