I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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