Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
