Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
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