So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
