you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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