dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize