i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
