the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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