No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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