every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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