so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
