some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
