I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
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That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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