All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
