btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
