so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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