The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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