I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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