i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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