you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize