Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
