Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
