Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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