I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
