also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
