I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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