and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
