I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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