does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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